Monday, December 28, 2009

Do You Make Them?

I'm one of those people who make resolutions when the New Year looms. Can't help it. Just do.

So, mine for this year:

1) Stop reading reviews. This is a big one for me because I let them affect me all too much. Some reviews, whether on a blog or on reader sites, have crushed my spirit to the point I have seriously thought of giving up writing. I don't think I will be entirely successful at not reading reviews of my work but I am going to be a lot better about resisting the urge to google myself to find them.

2) Lose weight. This one comes up every year. But I know I am not as healthy as I should be and if I don't do something soon, well, it could be too late. So I must try.

3) Manage my money better. Basically keep track of what I am spending and stop spending it on frivolous stuff I really don't need. I can't tell you how many earrings I own that I almost never wear, how many video games I almost never play, and how many cross stitch kits I will never do.

4) Appreciate what I have in my life more instead of envying what someone else has

5) Have eight to ten published stories

Do you do resolutions? If so, what are yours? If not, why not?


  1. I share numbers 2, 3, and 4 with your. I try 2 and 3 every year, but I never seem to stick with them. This year though . . .

    About #1, please don't let what one or two people say keep you from doing something that you're so good at. There will always be someone out there who is going to be negative about whatever we do. It's just not possible to please everyone, and the only thing that matters is that you are doing something that you enjoy.

    I know it's not quite the same, but I've struggled with a similar issue when I have students who don't like me. Yes, it still hurts, but as long as I am doing what I know I should do, then I just have to be happy that I'm doing my best. It's just not possible to make everyone like us.

    Honestly, there are some people who just enjoy being negative and hurtful. The only "joy" in their lives comes from tearing down others. Don't let those people win, and don't let them spread their poisonous misery to you. I really do know that it hurts, but I also know that you have many times more positive reviews than negative ones. You are an awesome writer, and many of us would be devastated if you gave that up.

    Good luck with your resolutions!


  2. Thanks, Eyre. Hopefully you and I can manage 2, 3, and 4 together.

    I'm trying not to let #1 get to me, I have better days as I am sure you know how that is. Shayne has been working on it with me and I've struggled to get better about it. Hopefully I can get even better about itin 2010. Your kind words do help, :-)

  3. I'm glad that Shayne is encouraging you. That's what BFFs are for,and he's an honest man. He won't steer you in the wrong direction.

    I'm a firm believer in karma. The universe will eventually smack those mean folks upside the head. If you want me to help make a voodoo doll or two, just let me know! ;)

  4. Shawn,

    I try to visit your blog daily, try, :). So glad I did so today. Do you remember the comments from a reader who just had to let you know how much she enjoyed your book, Lawyers in Love? Guess what? She continues to buy your books? Because? She thinks you write really well and would be very sad to hear that you stopped writing or allowed those that do not critique properly get you down. Unfortunately, there are people who really are commenting more because the story did not flow how they wanted rather than what you the author wrote. If your earnings allow you to purchase all those earrings you won't ever wear, must mean your books sell, right?

    Don't know which ones you read that were not flattering, but will take a guess the negative critiques focused on the story rather than how well you expressed your characters emotions, the plot and the storyline in general.

    I have yet to read a book of yours where I walked away not understanding the characters and the issues they faced in the story. Guess what? Left this blog to do a little investigating. Don't know where you see the negative reviews, and hopefully you won't in the future either, but I just spent some time looking at some. I found that most gave you 4.5 or 5 hearts. Reader comments were just as good. The majority love your writing. Even saw one review that loved At Long Last even though she, being from the old school, did not agree with the secretary's actions. Bottom line? You cannot please everyone and especially those that wish they could write half as well, :)

    Keep your spirits high.


  5. Thanks, Sharon, for your support. I am glad you discovered me this year.

    Believe it or not the ones that get me down the most are not story based. But comments on my characters. There have been some.

    I will try not to whine too much, though, I promise.

    My bff Shayne tells me they are crack smokers, lol.

  6. I don't do resolutions, but I do try to set goals for a new year.

    Your #1 is a good one, because not-so-great reviews sting like a son of a b#tch, but I know I'd never stick to something like that. I just can't resist. It's like driving past the scene of an accident. I have to look. LOL.

    #4 is very good. I need to put that one on my list for 2010.

    Um...what else? I need to start eating healthier. I highly doubt hot fudge sundae poptarts fit into any food group, but I eat them for breakfast EVERY morning. They are really tasty. :)

    I'd like to have 4 books published in 2010. 3 Ava and 1 Evangeline, and maybe have the next Evangeline one contracted in 2010. Yeah, total slacker compared to you, Shawn. *g*

    Oh, and of course I need to better manage my time and I want to go to RWA nationals in 2010. It's in Nashville, which I've heard is a great city.

  7. Shawn,

    Sounds like your bff has their number so believe him, :) You were not whining, you were sharing.

    Btw, don't do yearly resolutions because the ones I have to work on are things I have to do daily.


  8. I've been to Nashville and the hotel the conference is at and it is simply fabulous.

  9. Thank you Eyre, Ava and Sharon! Our girl shouldn't allow negative reviews get to her. Our wise friend Eyre said it best, "It's just not possible to please everyone, and the only thing that matters is that you are doing something that you enjoy."

    You can't win them all. Especially the Cracksmokers. LOL! There not worth the time and effort you put in reading their worthless review. You have to focus on the positive. I think you're getting there. You have MANY fans who love you and your writing. That is what I would focus on. Anyone else that doesn't like you work and go play in traffic. MUAH!

    I have to ask this one...why do women always want to lose weight? I know my BFF is setting a goal to lose weight for health reasons, which I understand. But, I wish people would embrace who they are. Wouldn't the world be boring if we all looked like Twiggy? *shudders* This is one reason I hate the fashion industry. They make people hate their bodies because they don't look like 14 year old girls. So unfair...

    I don't make resolutions. I've learned a long time ago that it doesn't work for me. Plus, New Year's day is important to me in other ways, so I just don't go there. I will say, when I quit smoking years ago it was a New Year's resolution. It's probably the only one I've ever kept. LOL!

  10. Shawn I am liking your list alot.... I don't particulary do list, but if I am honest - I really should do some....

    I have issues....LOL

    However, dont let the meanies of life get you down - as I have figured out, the world don't know how to be nice anymore....

    Chin up and carry on as you do....

    I am very pleased to have read all your hard work this year and they certainly made a difference to it...

    Everything else - I always need more money and as I get older I learn to prioritize the things I need rather than the things I want...

    but the wants are so tempting.....

    I'll be rooting for you and Eyre in your weight loss plan... one of my sons has done a plan for me two years now and it' still stuck on the fridge....

    I am a great cook - you have to expect some collateral damage...

    happy day hon...


  11. Shawn, seriously, don't pay any mind to reviews. I've concluded, just as Eyre said, that some people just love to be negative. I try to avoid those people at all costs, because I'm also someone who is very sensitive and takes a lot of what I shouldn't to heart.

    Just remember a review is only one persons opinion and they don't speak for everyone else.

    As for resolutions, here are mine:

    Finish and submit my MS.

    Try not to take it personally when it gets rejected.

    Try and get to bed at a decent time.

    Spend more time playing with my kids.

    Try not to take everything so seriously.

    Spend less time online.

    Try and be friendlier...believe it or not, I'm actually very shy.

    Lose weight. <---I hope.

    Visit my parents more often.

    Stop ignoring my cell phone and sending everyone to voicemail when it rings.

    And finally, thank my hubby more often for everything he does to help me around the house and with the kids.